Christmas puns

Christmas can be a difficult time of the year. Let's laugh a little to relieve the stress of the yuletide pressure. Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart does good like a medicine."

  • What do they call Santa's helpers?
    Subordinate Clauses
  • What do you call Santa Claus after he's fallen into a fireplace?
    Krisp Kringle
  • Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
    Santa's little Elvis
  • Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
    "Rude Olph"
  • What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
    A cookie sheet
  • What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
    Comet
  • What is the cow's holiday greeting?
    Mooooory Christmas
  • What does Santa like to eat?
    A jolly roll
  • Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
    Deery Queen
  • What does Santa say when he is sick?
    OH OH NO!
  • If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
    Missile toe
  • How does Santa Claus take pictures?
    With his North Pole-aroid
  • What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
    Santa Claus-trophbia
  • What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
    Sandy Claws
  • Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
    Because it soots him
  • What can Santa give away and still keep?
    A cold
  • Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?
    They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone.
  • Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
    He wanted to sleep like a log.
  • What do elves learn in school?
    The Elf-abet!
  • What nationality is Santa Claus?
    North Polish
  • Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
    Because every buck is dear to him.
  • What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
    Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
  • How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
    Fleece Navidad!
  • What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
    Claustrophobic
  • Why does Santa have three gardens?
    So he can ho-ho-ho.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a snake?
    Frostbite
  • What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
    Ribbon hood
  • What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
    Snowflakes
  • What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
    It's Christmas, Eve
  • What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
    Jungle Bells
  • Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
    Because he had low elf esteem.
  • What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
    The Christmas alphabet has No L.